This Is How A Shark Will Kill You (Science Corner)



I'm not afraid of sharks at all when I'm on dry land. Much like my fearlessness when it comes to bears whilst frolicking in the ocean. Oh, how i Like to frolic in the ocean. In fact, I like to stand just out of reach and mock the sharks just to prove I'm not afraid. They HATE it. It's really hilarious. Unless you're a shark. Sharks represent really the ONLY situation in which Aquaman can feel anything but lame. He's the worst super hero ever. He knows it. I think he's accepted it at this point. Superman can fly and stop bullets with his chest, Aquaman can make dolphins do tricks. Or can he? Maybe the dolphins would be doing that stuff anyway and they just humor the poor bastard. They're creepily smart and not to be trusted.

Anyway...sharks. This is how sharks PREFER to kill you. I mean, they WILL kill you in other ways if need be, this is the PREFERRED method.

Sharks prefer to swim up behind humans, according to new research. Cowards. Researchers from the Shark Research Institute in Florida say their study findings back up what divers and surfers have been saying for years-  sharks like to approach people from the rear. Don't make that pervy, man. Really? That's disgusting. YOU are disgusting.

These same researchers claim the sharks aren't NECESSARILY going to kill you- they're just curious. Curious what you will taste like. Up to this point scientists weren't sure if sharks could differentiate the front or back of a human being which means sharks is so stupid OR our faces look similar to butts.

Regardless of all this stuff, Aquaman still sucks.

You've just been Scienced. Ma man.

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