Science Corner-Mars Used To Be Pretty. Now It’s Less Pretty. Mars Sucks. (Video)


NASA (known chiefly for Tang invention) has put together a video of Mars. I don't know how they went back 4 Billion years ago to film this or how they were able to keep the video intact during their time travel but we shouldn't really dwell on that. Just trust the science nerds. They're incredibly smart and they have no non nerd friends to distract them from their scientific experiments. If science nerds became cool, no science would ever get done. Keep Science Nerdy.

Anyway, NASA went back in time 4 billion years to film some video of the then gorgeous Mars. If you are a SUPER OLD martian, this must make you feel pretty emotional. Your planet was SO pretty but now look at it-sand. Rock and sand. Your planet is comprised solely of sand and rock. If you are an earthling (most reading this probably are) it makes you feel superior, right? I mean, Earth is beautiful NOW. That's right, Martians. Your planet is sooo ugly. Get a load of Earth, Martians.

On a side note, it must be a drag to be from Uranus because you can't say things like, "Get a load of Uranus" without laughing. Sorry, Uranusans, your planet got THE worst name. You guys should do some sort of Facebook petition and change it. WE will always call it Uranus though because it never stops being funny.

Anyway, Mars WAS pretty now it isn't. Luckily for us on Earth, we have nothing to worry about. Earth is ALWAYS going to be pretty. I mean, it's not like we're doing our very best to ruin it. See, I hit you with a deep message about the plight of our planet and our blatant disregard for it's well-being but it was so subtle you may hot have noticed.

The real question to ask here is, what else did these time traveling NASA nerds bring back from ancient Mars??!!!!



UPDATE: I'm now told the video is a computer model. Or is it????

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I’ll Show You A Full Moon! [Science Corner] (Video)

Batten down your science hatches. I'm about to Science you.


As we ALL know, NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter has been circling the Moon for over four years, gathering data and photos of the lunar landscape. They've now utilized space age polymers to cobble some of those images together. The video  presents a first-ever look at the rotating Moon. (I'll show you a rotating moon).

Did you know the moon rotated? Of course you did. We don't see it spin because it always has the same face pointed towards us. The time it takes for the Moon to rotate once is 27 days, the same as the time it takes to go around the Earth. Other than in photos -- and now this video -- the only people who've ever seen the far side of the Moon are the Apollo mission astronauts. So, in essence, we are ALL astronauts now! Don't pee in your suit. Sicko.

You've just been Scienced!

(Check back for the audio component of this story. It will air on the 9/18 edition of my radio show for those of you in one of my markets.)

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Eat My Voice! Eat it! [Science Corner](Video)

Some art and science nerds at Royal College of Art in the United Kingdom have built a futuristic suit that collects the carbon dioxide exhaled from the gnarly lungs of singing humans. This carbon dioxide feeds algae, which grows during the performances and is later prepared and served.

Is the taste quality relative to the voice quality? I don't know, but it if its, that is some rank ass algae.

You've just been scienced!

Full story here.

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Science Corner – Creepy Japanese Space Robot [Video]

You so creepy Japanese Space Robot. What is being called the 'first talking humanoid robot in space' space. It/he/she is super creepy. Look at that creepy little bastard. Look at those little camera eyes, staring through your soul. I think calling this thing the 'first' is really going to piss off the talking humanoid robot civilization already in existence in the solar system. Likely on Uranus.

You know it looks just like that little robot you had as a kid with the drink tray. Don't think this little creep doesn't remember how we treated his ancestors...and his cousins, the Roomba.

You'd do well to learn the following phrase:

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

That video looks less stupid now, right? Right?

No. Still stupid.

You've just been Scienced, Mr. Roboto!

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Pooooop Iiiiiiiin Spaaaaaacccce (Video)

You though I had video of actual poop floating in space, didn't you? And you STILL clicked the video? Sicko. Being an astronaut 'aint easy. It's harder than your job. Unless you host radio shows and podcast occasionally. That sounds way harder.

Full, story here. You've just been scienced!

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Happy Belated Birthday, Curiosity (Video)

I hope you celebrated the first birthday of Mars Rover Curiosity's first birthday by doing something that did NOT involve Uranus  in any way. Sicko. Curiosity celebrated by playing Happy Birthday to itself. Maybe it should have been called Mars Rover Narcissus. Am I right?

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