Leaf Blowers Are Stupid. And They Are Not Jet Packs.

A Leaf Blower

A Leaf Blower

 

 

I used a leaf blower today. I use a leaf blower quite often. I use the backpack kind pictured above because, I mean, it's the badassest kind of leaf blower you can get and I am a badass. So..duh. Sure, I could use a broom but using that logic, I could churn butter and chop down a forest with an ax to build my family home.

NO.

The thing about leaf blowers is, we essentially use them to blow our crap to our neighbors' house. 'Here you go, buddy, I have some leaves, dust and assorted weed spores comin' your way!' I don't really know how it is we even tolerate the use of leaf blowers. They're loud, move my junk to your house machines.

The WORST thing about them is, they look like 1970's style jet packs.

Jet Pack International

Jet Pack International

Leaf blowers are NOT jet packs but, look at it. It LOOKS like a jet pack. It isn't though. A jet pack could blow leaves, easy but a leaf blower cannot fly you anywhere.

Leaf blowers are stupid. Jet packs will ALWAYS be awesome.

Chin up, leaf blowers. You're no jet pack but you'll always be better than brooms.

Suck it, brooms.

 

 

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That Time I Talked To Gwar (Audio)

Metal Blade Records

Metal Blade Records

So I think we tend to go overboard when famous people die. We make them way more talented and way more important than they actually were when they lived. It’s an odd thing, I don’t usually get but I have found myself listening to a healthy dose of Gwar (if there is such a thing) and Oderus Urungus/Dave Brockie will be missed. Metal (of which I’m a HUGE fan) can take itself so seriously which has never made sense to me because metal is so unintentionally funny sometimes. Dave saw that and masterfully used it to mold one of the most unique bands in any genre. I did a phone interview with Oderus about several years ago (one of a few) when the phone connection got all weird..and he went on a fantastic rant blaming Dick Cheney for trying to silence him. I think it’s plausible. I can’t imagine Cheney was a fan.


 

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Science Corner Quickie : Practice Does Not Make Perfect (Audio)

An Oboe

An Oboe

You're so about to be Scienced right now. Batten down your science hatches and ready your Oboe. I feel like Oboe deserves to be capped. In this edition of Science Corner, I discuss a new study proving practice doesn't always work. At some point, you'll just have to quit or embrace mediocrity.


 

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Chevelle Debuts Another Cool New Song (Audio)

You know how you always say 'I liked their old stuff' when you're asked about ANY band because that's what everyone says? Well, I felt pretty disinterested in Chevelle's early stuff. I didn't NOT like it but I never listened to it on my own, non radio, time.

This is a case where I actually prefer the NEW stuff. I don't think anyone has ever said that about any band...until now. This is a historic post.

Anyway, I started really digging them on their last record 'Hats Off To The Bull'  and, based on what I've heard from the new record, 'La Gargola' (Spanish for 'the gargler'...I think), I'll like this on even more. The new song is called 'Hunter Eats Hunter'. 'La Gargola' will be out on April 1st.

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M.I.L.T. New Music Picks – Week Of 3-18-14 (Part 2)

To read part one of this week's new music picks, click this way.

Now that you're all caught up, let's get to part 2 of my picks for new music released the week of 3-18-14.


Century Media Records

Century Media Records

Vampire 'Vampire'

First of all, how in THE hell has there not been another band named Vampire? Secondly, this wasn't going to be on my list at all but I just kept listening to it and here it is. I'm not sure these guys are ACTUAL vampires but I do know the singer is named Hand Of Doom. Obviously that makes no sense at all but this is blackened death metal ma man and it doesn't have to. I rarely know the lyrics to black metal and it's likely for the best. There is no wheel reinvention taking place here but if you dig this type of metal, you will dig this. It's also worth noting that someone by the name of Ratwing is responsible for 'battery' and when they play live, they have a guitarist named Centaur. I joke but I dig this. On a side note, I would like to be called Voice/Typist Of Doom going forward. I won't answer to anything else.




Atlantic Records

Atlantic Records

Smith & Meyers 'Acoustic Sessions Part 2'

As you likely know, Smith is Brent Smith and Meyers is Zac Meyers of Shinedown. They go by Smith  Meyers for record company reasons. That's all that you need to know about that. I've been a Shinedown fan for some time and my fandom was solidified the first time I interviewed Brent several years ago. He's s good dude and he gets it.  He gets the importance of the band's fans, he gets the importance of radio to the band's career and dude can SING.

This is the second batch of acoustic covers and it's awesome, man. He out Jon Bon Jovis Jon Bon Jovi and he nails the Adele song which is crazy hard to do. I'm singing it now and he sounds WAY better than me. Both of these discs could have been un-inspired, cash grabs gone horribly wrong but I really like what they do with the songs.

A full, proper Shinedown record is on the horizon as well..





Hopeless Records
Hopeless Records

Taking Back Sunday 'Happiness Is'

Taking Back Sunday have been around, doing what they do for a long time now and I've always liked them. They've been on indy labels, major labels, no labels and I just know, if they put a record out, I will dig it. No exception here. I really like this band. I'm listening to a song called 'Stood A chance' from the record right now and it's just good, catchy awesome music. I wish it were less windy on my patio though.....on a side note.




 

Secretly Canadian Records

Secretly Canadian Records

The War On Drugs 'Lost In A Dream'

The War On Drugs are big Bob Dylan fans. The singer sounds Dylan-esque for sure and I really like it. These guys are definite fans of the storytelling songwriters like Dylan and Springsteen. They even have a sax player. The record is full of mood, experimentation, texture, fantastic melodies and it gets better every time I listen to it. I think this is one I'll by typing about for my year's best list.




And that's the list. Let me know what you're into!

Spotify List:

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